by Robert F. Sawallesh
24 November 2004
www.pentagonmaverick.com
The PentagonMaverick through special channels in the United Nations has obtained a copy of the "UN Rules of Engagement for the War in Iraq (UNROEFTWII)." The following are the ten UN Rules of Engagement to insure that war is fair to all sides:
1. Combat Umpires will be hired from the United Nations to insure that the war in Iraq is fair and that the US Marines do not take advantage of the insurgents.
2. Marines will not fire upon the Iraqi insurgents until the Marines have been fired upon first.
3. If the Marines outnumber the Iraqi insurgents the insurgents will be given a "Mulligan," that is, the insurgents will be given a "free shot" before the Marines can fire their weapons.
4. Wounded Iraqi insurgents may be evacuated through US medical evacuation channels to Walter Reed Army Hospital or Bethesda Naval Hospital. The enemy insurgent patients will have priority over US Military Retirees and US Military Widows.
5.If the Marines spot an enemy ambush the UN Umpires will halt the war so the insurgents may set up the ambush elsewhere.
6. Marine combat training films in Iraq will consist of only old time western movies. That way Marines learn how to shoot the weapons out of the insurgents hands without causing any flesh wounds.
7. A Marine's Combat Pay in Iraq will be reduced 50% if the wounded insurgent protests being shot.
8. Any Marine sharpshooter who continues to shoot at the insurgents will be issued a paintball gun.
9. The WW II "Killroy Was Here" drawings will not be allowed in Iraq because of the word "Kill" in "Killroy."
10. Lastly, Iraqi insurgents who play dead in order to shoot at the Marines will be penalized 15 yards if caught by the UN Umpires.
The above of course is satire. Special thanks to a neighbor who is a Combat Retired Marine from Valrico, Florida. He reviewed the above "Rules of Engagement Satire."
A special salute to all of our young brave men and women who are serving in Iraq and Afghanistan!